Many of us I'm sure would be thrilled at receiving an expensive gift, thinking, 'how lucky am I!' It would make our day and contribute to our feeling happy. But what if that gift was a substitute for time, love, attention and was being given in a placatory, keep-em-quiet way. Would we still be feeling happy, cared for, special?
Happiness often comes from being grateful for what we have, appreciating the value of what comes our way - good or bad, the simple things in life. Being given a free leaflet about a show or talk that we're interested in demonstrates that someone was thinking of us when they picked it up.
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The champagne cork from a special meal together, a pressed flower or lovely shell from a walk we enjoyed, a compilation of 'our' special songs; these are things that can make us happy, rather than an expensive gift quickly purchased on the way home.- Thoughtful gestures are important. When someone smiles and lets us out in traffic, holds the door open, gets us a coffee as they make one for themselves or an unexpected kindness, any of these are things that can really brighten our day.
Unconditional praise and compliments can make us happy. When someone rewards us with a, 'good job', or 'you look nice', it brings a glow of positivity to the day. But if they add a comment like 'why don't you do that more often!' it becomes much less pleasant.
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External things can make us happy. Children's laughter, the smell of coffee or freshly baked bread, a cheesy song, a beautiful garden can make us pause for a moment and smile. Many of us will feel excited at hearing the chimes of an ice cream van. We don't want an ice cream, but the music triggers childhood memories.
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